Simpson Wars; by Daniel

As the giant weapon was bursting with flames, two ships flew towards Natoo. The people in the ship, well, they were satisfied with their mission.

In the ship, the Millennium Blinky, was Bart Solo, Lisa Skywalker, Chomer, and Ben Frinoki. They were the heroes destined to save the beloved Princess Marge of Natoo from evil Darth Flanders. They flew towards Tatoweene(Tat-o-Ween-EE) to get info on a Top-Secret project of the Empire.

But, Tatoweene is hugely populated with Ralph Raiders, Niwas, Smugglers, and evil Hutts, especially C.B.G. the Hutt(C.B.G. stands for Comic Book Guy). As Bart turned off the hyperdrive, they were all staring at a brown, yellowy, dirt-like planet.

Lisa was beginning to sense a strange feeling about this planet. “I feel a disturbance in the force. I feel as if I’ve been here before.” Lisa said. “Obviously” said Ben. Then Ben pronounced in an obvious kind of voice “You’ve lived here. That’s pretty dumb of you not to know where you lived most of your life. Wow.” As Bart landed the ship in the Mos Eisla spaceport, Stormtrouters, which literally are trouts, from the Empire approached. Ben used the power of the force to trick the Stormtrouters.

“Lets get that info and leave. This place looks creepy.” said Ben. As they approached the outskirts of Mos Eisla, Chomer suddenly fainted. What was in front of them was so terribly shocking it’s blinding. “Wow, that thing is FAT!” said Bart, while almost laughing into a coma.

It was C.B.G. the Hutt. He had the info they were looking for. As they came towards the Hutt, Ben backed away. “I think getting info form a Hutt, especially HIM, might be harder then we think.” said Ben.

As Lisa stepped forward to confront the Hutt, C.B.G., he suddenly blurted out “Ah, so you have come for the info. I will share the Top-Secret info with you but, first you need to bring me back my beloved astromech droid, R1-D3, back from the Niwas. Then you must bring me the Ralph Raider’s chief’s head. Then, only then, will I share with you the Top-Secret info.

Lisa replied “O.K.” A few hours later, they returned R1-D3, the astromech droid, back to C.B.G. the Hutt.”Wow, I can’t believe that it was ridiculously easy to get R1-D, whatever” said Ben. Chomer made a loud barking sound. “Yes, Chomer, all we had to do was shock them a few times before they said ‘Yes’ and they strangely smiled while they gave it to us.” said Lisa.”Those… THINGS gave me the creeps.” said Bart

As the heroes journeyed towards the Ralph Raider village, they were ambushed by smugglers. The smuggler leader confidently said “Give us your money” . “Why?” said Bart, while Chomer mocked what the smuggler leader said. “Then we will have to take it ourselves!” said the leader.

Before they could react, Bart blasted 5 of them with his custom blaster pistol while Lisa and Ben used their lightsabors to wipe out 5 others. And Chomer, well he beat the crud out of the leader.

Before they began to keep going to the Ralph Raider village, Lisa said “We better get the chief’s head before we get ambushed again”. As they approached the village, Lisa had a wonderful idea. Lisa asked one of the Ralph Raiders to take her to the chief. The Ralph Raider nodded in agreement and took her through the village.

A she was about to enter the chief’s hut, she realized Bart, Ben, and Chomer hadn’t come along. Lisa thought “I guess they didn’t want to come.” As she approached the chief, Ralph, he screamed “WHY ARE YOU HERE!!!!” “I have come to challenge you to a duel, battle to the DEATH!” Lisa said. “Bring it on.” said Ralph. Lisa was quick on her feet. She ignited her lightsabor and pounded it through the chief’s chest with blinding speed.Then she chopped off the head, took it , and ran for her life.

With Chomer, Bart, and Ben right behind her, they all ran towards the outskirts of Mos Eisla. They gave the head off the chief to C.B.G. the Hutt and he said “The Top-Secret info is, the Empire has make a donut-shaped weapon powerful enough to destroy a whole planet. And their first target is Albar.”

After the conversation, the heroes got on the Millennium Blinky and headed for Albar’s space system, where the Death Donut was.

As the Millennium Blinky got closer to the Death Donut, Ben felt weird about how easy it was to approach the Death Donut. And, the docking bay door was open. “It feels very strange right now. Still, we are approaching without attach or trapped in a tractor beam and Bart didn’t need to manually open the docking bay door. But this seems as if it were a trap. I hope it isn’t.”

Bart landed the ship and there right next to them was a giant red pig and wolf-shaped spaceship. “I wonder who that is?” Bart said.

And running through the door at the other end the the docking bay was the Big Bad Wolf, the Three little pigs, and Red Ridinghood with Princess Marge. “Hi.” said Pig #1. Then Pigs #’s 2&3 said “Hi.”

Bart replied with “Why are YOU here?” “Because with thought this place sold donuts. “Death Donut” sounded like a catchy name for a donut store.” said Red Ridinghood.

“Then why are you armed with blaster pistols, rifles, and swords.” said Bart. “Because with all the robbers and space pirates around, we thought it would be best if we were armed.” said Pig #1. Then Pigs #’s 2&3 repeated that. Lisa asked “Why do they do that?” “We don’t really know.” Pig #1 whispered.

Ben asked “Then where is all the Stormtrouters and Darth Flanders?” “We took out all the Stormtrouters but Darth Flanders was right on our-” said the Big Bad Wolf. Darth Flanders came out of the door. He said “You will never escape the Death Didally Donut!” Lisa answered with “We will escape, but you will not leave here alive”"I challenge you to a duel” said Lisa. “Your super doodally on.” said Darth Flanders.

Lisa’s mind blasted with ideas on how to fight Darth Flanders. “But none of this ideas will work.” she thought. She was looking at the most dangerous person with a lightsabor of the last 40 years! She felt the cold metal of the lightsabors handle on her hands. She thought she was hearing tiny voices saying “ATTACK!” and “You’ll never beat him, so give up.” Then she thought of the perfect plan.

It was unexpected, maybe. Lisa, from her belt pouch, threw two Thermal Detonators. But it did nothing to Darth Flanders. “Is that all you’ve got. That was Horr-Diddally HORRIBLE! I think snails make better plans then that you doodally dumb Jedi!”
Then, out of nowhere, a giant red, furry ship came through the docking bay door and obliterated Darth Flanders. Then Elmo came out of the ship. “Elmo want 80 donuts, PLEASE.” Elmo said. “This isn’t a donut store.” Ben explained. “O.K. but Elmo need 80 donuts for Bid Bird’s surprise party. You better give Elmo donuts before Elmo gets violent!”

Lisa said “Do you like the ABC’s” “Elmo LOVES ABC’s” Elmo said. “Well, I like the 123′s, 1…., 2…., 3…..!” Lisa said. Elmo fell to the ground. “What happened?” said Red Ridinghood. ” I was forced to dispose of him.” Red Ridinghood said “Wow, harsh.” “I know.” said Lisa.

Princess Marge, with Ben, Lisa, Bart, and Chomer jumped on the Millennuim Blinky while The Three Little pigs, the Big Bad Wolf, and Red Ridinghood went off on the “Fairytale Flyer”, both heading towards Natoo. While on Natoo, Bart Solo, Lisa Skywalker, Ben Finobi, Chomer, The Three Little pigs, Red Ridinghood, and The Big Bad Wolf received the Natoo Medal of Honor and 200 credits(1 credit=$1). And for the Death Donut, well, it blew up.

THE END

Glossary

-Blaster Pistol- a gun like a modern day pistol, except it shoots laser powerful enough to kill on 1 shot.

-Blaster Rifle- the same thing as a blaster pistol, except more like the modern day machine gun.

-Lightsabor- a weapon used by Jedi and Sith. It is powered by a very powerful crystal. It has a metal handle to hold. The crystal colors are blue, green, yellow, purple, orange, and red(used by only Sith).

-Tractor Beam- a beam fired from a ship to bring a ship into it’s docking bay. Mostly used by cruiser ships. The beam enables the use of any instruments of the ship it’s bringing in.

-Ralph Raider- an alien like a human, but speak a strange language and live only on Tatoweene.

-Niwa- a short alien that live in giant mining machines and sell droids and droid parts.

-Smuggler- a person that is usual homeless and mugs people for money.